Listening to the whisper...

nobody@vox.com(anewlis) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 09:51:00 -0800

Originally published at i.am.a.new.lis. You can comment here but I prefer you do it there :-).

One thing I have learned is that my God, in an effort to direct me, will start off whispering gently in my ear. Should I choose not to listen, or simply don't recognize the whisper (which is another post entirely), sure enough, He'll follow through, a lil louder, until I do! Oh yes... He will be heard!

So, I'm gonna choose to listen to this soft whisper, which on yesterday, said simply: 'you are doing too much'. I have worked extremely hard to get where I am today. Career wise, I finally have a job as a web designer. My passion and outlet of freelancing is thriving. My 17 year marriage is at the peaceful, settled stage. My kids are wonderful and consistently bring me joy. My spiritual life is blossoming and strengthening. Life is good. Great even. Yet there is an element of discontent. And it's finally been identified. I'm doing too much!

All of the great things I mentioned above, are being somewhat overshadowed by the fact that I am doing to much. Work is work. That won't change. But the freelancing? I've have 6 projects I'm working on simultaneously and NONE are getting closer to done. That doesn't even include my own projects (i.e. Urban Profiles). Not to mention, I am on a learning curve. I am 100% self taught in design. Which is really cool, but at the same time, that leaves a huge to do (well to learn) list, which is basically being ignored because, who has time?!?! And, if I want my marriage to remain in it's current state of bliss, I gotta be workin' on that! Too many late nights at the computer and not cuddled up with my guy is definitely not good. He's extremely patient, and hasn't made a stink. But a girl knows what's what. Same with my kiddies. A sista is also missing out on quality time with the Almighty. Right now, I'm giving Him leftovers when He deserves the first slice. Not to mention my health. As I am typing there is a huge chunk of stress in the top of my back that has me close to tears! Yes, it hurts that bad! And the haphazard gym visits ain't doin' jack! How can they? And I won't even start with the lack of sleep!

Finally, I had asked several folks a short time ago about how to get better organized. What I've come to realize is, I am actually extremely organized. That is not the actual problem. The bottom line is, I can not do it all. And it is simple insanity to think that I can. So... the revelation is in. Now what to do about it?

I have decided that once I finish the 6 projects I have on my plate, the freelancing is going to stop for a spell. It is my passion, and I'm not planning on giving it up. But I do need to step back and regroup. Yea... I'm listening to the whisper before it comes as thunder.

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Listening to the whisper...