anewlis’ Neighborhood

My dog is an escapist. He loves to get out of the house and run around the neighborhood. It hasn't happened in a while, since we have kept a tight reign on him and finally taught the Kid that it is NOT okay to just open the door while the dog is running loose in the house.

This morning, however, I put his leash on him and sent him outside like I usually do. Something told me to look out the window and check on him. His entire choke collar was off, and he was standing there looking up for the dogs that live above us. Why didn't he run? I calmly opened the door and called him back in. Normally, he would say "haha screw you!" and take off. Today, he just excitedly came back in and sat down with me. I pulled his leash back in, put it back on, and sent him out again. The dog seemed never the wiser about what had just occurred. I have to wonder if he knew and just didn't care to run away, or did he not even notice. Either way, he is still outside sitting in his favorite spot enjoying nature going by and I am here not having to worry about whether or not he will eat someone else's pet.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

actually... i am taking a heinie break. *lol*

)o(Idadi)o(

deezer is a great platform and that's beyond doubt - style wise it makes Last.FM look tacky and dated - deezer have now gained permission to use universal's back catalogue which in some ways is great - it means more choice for the playlists - the alarming thing is this though - once again another music platform is becoming controlled by the major labels and it's getting to the point were it's wonder as to what is the point ? they have control over mySpace and Last.FM - they have control over iMeem and the list goes on - sony are already involved at deezer and so now all that's needed is the other 2 majors to get in on the new act and then it becomes just another platform that's essentially the same as all the others - just another name with the same people running the show - it's news but is it good news ?

I would be the gentleman at the three minute mark of the video.

If you need me this weekend, just...well actually...just don't need me.

I wonder if a Corona popsicle would be as delicious as I'm imagining it would.

ps. J&T - I gave Maya extra water and left a fan on for her. 

On May 21, 2008, at 7:00 PM, the Ride of Silence will begin in North America and roll across the globe. Cyclists will take to the roads in a silent procession to honor cyclists who have been killed or injured while cycling on public roadways. The Ride of Silence is a FREE ride held during Bike Safety Month where cyclists are asked to ride no faster than 12 mph and remain silent during the ride. The Ride aims to raise the awareness of the legal rights cyclists have on the public roadways. The ride is also a chance to show respect for those who are victims of roadway crashes.

There is no brochure, no sponsors, no registration fee and no T-shirt.

In Chicago, the Ride kicks off on the corner of Dearborn and Washington. Participants are asked to wear a black armband and remain silent for the 10-mile bicycle procession.  For more information, contact Elizabeth Adamczyk at rideofsilence.chicago@gmail.com. Day of event registration is allowed. 

Check the resources on The Ride of Silence website to find a Ride Of Silence in your area or to get information on how to organize and host a Ride of Silence  .

Met with the Medical Oncologist this morning - Dr.M (a different Dr.M - not Dr.M the Surgeon).  She explained that I am Estrogen Receptor negative, which means that the growth of the cancer cells were not encouraged by Estrogen.  However,  I am HER2 positive which equates to a higher probability of re occurrence of Breast Cancer, due to the fast growing nature of the cancer and often offers the worst prognosis.   Even though the tumor was removed, there is a possibility that cancer may be "unseen" in other places - she stated that unequivicably I must have Chemotherapy due to the manner in which cancer cells grow in my body.

I will have six cycles of Chemotherapy (cycles occur every 3 weeks), my chemo cocktail will be Taxotere, Cytoxan and Herceptin.  In addition to the six cycles I will continue on with Herceptin every 3 weeks for 6 months.  From Wikipedia - Herceptin is a humanized monoclonal antibody that acts on the HER2/neu (erbB2) receptor.  Principal use is as an anti-cancer therapy in breast cancer in patients whose tumors over express (produce more than the usual amount of) this receptor. Herceptin is administered either once a week or once every three weeks intravenously for 30 to 90 minutes. 

Dr. M's nurse gave me three pages of definite and potential side affects I will encounter from the chemo cocktail.  She also provided me with prescriptions for  a steroid and  two anti nausea drugs along with with a recipe for a mouth rinse and a nose spray that is supposed combat dryness.  It was all just too much today, information overload!  I honestly stopped listening because my mind just floated away as I started to think about what I did to deserve this.  Why me?

The nurse kept asking me if I wanted a prescription for a wig - "you sure you don't want one?" Losing my hair is not a major concern for me.  I've worn a short haircut for almost 15 years - hair, or the lack there of, is not a big deal.  I was also told that I will have to have Dr.M (Surgeon) put a port in my chest for the administering of the Chemotherapy.  I DO NOT WANT A PORT IN MY CHEST!!!! This news was the start of my shutdown I think.

Next week, I have to get a bone scan, chest scan, and some heart analysis shit!!  The Chemotherapy is set to begin the first week in June, after the tests next week and the port placement.

I reviewed my medical claims submitted to insurance since the diagnoses in March - $29K and counting.  Cancer is expensive!  Thank god I have insurance.

With all this treatment news, beside the fact I'm heading into another weekend with this freakin drain still hanging at my side - it seems things would be better if I just put a pistol to my temple and pull the trigger.